What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Stronger

10 Jul

MIRACLES HAPPEN. 🙂 Keep the faith!

Odessa Gillespie Black-Best Selling Author

My daughter often jokes and says, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Mama. Don’t get mad, get pumped.” But I remember to days back in 2004 and I wonder how we made it through. To date, you all don’t know much about me. That’s my fault. I haven’t shared.

In 2004, my husband became ill and eventually went into a coma. The doctors told us many people hold the misconception that we can come to them and they can “fix it.” That wasn’t true for my husband. No one knew how he’d gotten ill or what to do to “fix him.” That puts a wife in a very helpless situation.

In July of 2004, Brant went into the hospital with respiratory symptoms that acted much like the flu. He was put on life support and within ten days came home. He had lost around 30 pounds and this made…

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The morning after the night that wasn’t

1 Jul

“Depression doesn’t just affect your mind, it wrecks your body too…”

falling awake

animation-cartoon-disney-funny-hangover-Favim.com-188967

Living with poor mental health often, to me, feels like sloughing through the day with a raging hangover.

The relentless march of stress always seems to leave me with the pounding headache, sawdust mouth and brain fog that you’d associate with a night spent knocking back gallons of beer and umpteen tequila shots, washed down with a questionable kebab and a wobbly night bus journey home. Except I’ve been living on green tea and spinach and lentil curry and going to bed at 10.

Depression doesn’t just affect your mind, it wrecks your body too, even when you’re living like a saint. At least with vodka you can get away with showing a burger vendor your pants and confessing your undying love to a lamp post.

With this in mind, I give you quite possibly the best literary account of a hangover to ever grace the pages of a book…

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CND Vinylux : A Manicure That Stays For 7 Days

26 Jun

I can’t help it!!! My fascination for lovely nails is insatiable…and now this? A manicure that lasts 7 days? Awesome product, not to mention awesome colors. 🙂

the CITIZENS of FASHION

The creators of American popular nail polish brand CND  launched a wide palette of nail polishes called Vinylux, who stays on the nails for seven days without chipping and become stronger from the light of day. It is applied as a regular nail polish right on the nail plate without the base,on  top a special top coating then you need to give 10 minutes to your manicure to dry. The composition of Vinylux does not include harmful dibutyl phthalate, and formaldehyde resins. The palette contains 62 shades of professional nail polishes.

 

 

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Happiness is too good to be kept inside.

19 Jun

Happiness is too good to be kept inside. It shows, and once it does, it will share itself. 🙂 http://ow.ly/i/2ovlz

A Paid Non-working Day

18 Jun

I used to feel like a corporate slave – employed but needless of creativity…

I’ve spent this rainy, gloomy day’s hours on research and writing and ended up feeling that I did not work at all.

I thought I worked, but I did not.

I do not call it work because I drowned time and effort with the freedom of creativity and the gift of art. Only by distinguishing work from creative labor can one possibly feel the importance of what he does.

From somewhere I have read in one of Lewis Hyde‘s classic, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, that:

Work is what we do by the hour. It begins and, if possible, we do it for money. Welding car bodies on an assembly line is work; washing dishes, computing taxes, walking the rounds in a psychiatric ward, picking asparagus — these are work.

Labor, on the other hand, sets its own pace. We may get paid for it, but it’s harder to quantify… Writing a poem, raising a child, developing a new calculus, resolving a neurosis, invention in all forms — these are labors.

I used to feel like a corporate slave – employed but needless of creativity, ordinary and mundane. Now, there is a different kind of focus and clarity that I am a part of something bigger.

Given the labor that I do, I feel free. Author Christian Mihai wrote in his recent blog post, “that this is freedom. Doing what you love, no matter what. And even when you’re starving, when you’re cold, when you just don’t want to go out because you’ll undoubtedly feel as if everyone else is much happier than you are, when you sit down at a desk and do your thing, that’s freedom, a kind of freedom that no one can grant you; you’ve got to take it, you’ve got to fight for it with all you’ve got.

Yes, writing is what I do and this is my submission to the world – I did the world a favor by rendering creative labor.

Aside

I Read Poetry and I Am Not Crazy

13 Jun

I fall for poetry as I would fall for a man who can sing. It wraps up my morning and makes me ready to face the day. I hate people who fail to appreciate the lines of a poem and I pity their sense of understanding. What others do not know about poetry is that, its not about what the poet feels at the time the poem is written, instead, it is about the emotions that are awakened in the reader.

The world will never understand how much poetry is to me just like the man that I sleep with can ever understand why I sleep late, why I lie when I’m shopping and why there are times of the day that I forget that other people exist and I look up the sky in a solo surrender.

Its Throwback Thursday in Facebook and Poetry Monday somewhere else, but for me, life is lived luxuriously everyday with some poetry. Here’s a really good one for a daily dose and more from Stale Cigarettes and a Fistful of dreams:

Other People’s Secrets

I live beneath scorn filled shadows of other people’s secrets

Carrying a burden

Internalized shame and affliction

Penetrate my veneered complexion

Iron weight grating my psyche

Stilted dreams invade rare, disturbed sleep

My own turmoil and failures, other people’s secrets.

Look For A Shiny Pot Where The Ring Should Be

11 Jun

“I love a man who clears my table
I love a man who knows how to use
a wire scouring brush on my pots
till they sparkle so
He brings out my shine…”

Mohja Kahf

I held his hand and gave it a soft, soothing massage. Those hands may have been tired from working all day…and then, his ring wasn’t there. I started to freak out, threw his hand away and broke that sweet moment into some commotion. He said he left it in the car.

Soap residues are deposited into the crevices of the band’s design, thus he took it off. Some kinda excuse. Instances like this make me feel that he is not ready for the kind of security that love gives.

Is he ever ready?

Is he ever ready?

Crocodiles began to breed in my mind. I wanted to stalk him and see what he’s up to. Every woman within a three-meter radius became a possible threat. If I continue to think about the endless reasons why the ring that I placed there for my own feeling of security is not there, I would be stuck. Perhaps its not about my security, its about his. Is he ready for the security that the ring entails?

Men are as complex as the universe. They are not perfect, and never will be. With this fact we are at an equal stance. They ruin a lot of romantic moments due to their restlessness and cause more broken hearts than they ever mean to. Yet, their readiness for love is not as recognizable as that of a woman’s. Its more of silence, washing dishes, and a lot of discoveries. Becoming a man who is ready for love takes a lot of introspection and the gradual emergence of consciousness for what the other feels. It is their personal battle.

A man’s readiness to secure love can hardly be seen and can be misconstrued with the act of not wearing his ring. As a ‘sage’ advised, I should rage not, instead dwell on real loving gestures because not all men can make a pot shine for me. If he has shown you this, be confident that the ring will find a way back some hours after.

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