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A Paid Non-working Day

18 Jun

I used to feel like a corporate slave – employed but needless of creativity…

I’ve spent this rainy, gloomy day’s hours on research and writing and ended up feeling that I did not work at all.

I thought I worked, but I did not.

I do not call it work because I drowned time and effort with the freedom of creativity and the gift of art. Only by distinguishing work from creative labor can one possibly feel the importance of what he does.

From somewhere I have read in one of Lewis Hyde‘s classic, The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World, that:

Work is what we do by the hour. It begins and, if possible, we do it for money. Welding car bodies on an assembly line is work; washing dishes, computing taxes, walking the rounds in a psychiatric ward, picking asparagus — these are work.

Labor, on the other hand, sets its own pace. We may get paid for it, but it’s harder to quantify… Writing a poem, raising a child, developing a new calculus, resolving a neurosis, invention in all forms — these are labors.

I used to feel like a corporate slave – employed but needless of creativity, ordinary and mundane. Now, there is a different kind of focus and clarity that I am a part of something bigger.

Given the labor that I do, I feel free. Author Christian Mihai wrote in his recent blog post, “that this is freedom. Doing what you love, no matter what. And even when you’re starving, when you’re cold, when you just don’t want to go out because you’ll undoubtedly feel as if everyone else is much happier than you are, when you sit down at a desk and do your thing, that’s freedom, a kind of freedom that no one can grant you; you’ve got to take it, you’ve got to fight for it with all you’ve got.

Yes, writing is what I do and this is my submission to the world – I did the world a favor by rendering creative labor.


Look For A Shiny Pot Where The Ring Should Be

11 Jun

“I love a man who clears my table
I love a man who knows how to use
a wire scouring brush on my pots
till they sparkle so
He brings out my shine…”

Mohja Kahf

I held his hand and gave it a soft, soothing massage. Those hands may have been tired from working all day…and then, his ring wasn’t there. I started to freak out, threw his hand away and broke that sweet moment into some commotion. He said he left it in the car.

Soap residues are deposited into the crevices of the band’s design, thus he took it off. Some kinda excuse. Instances like this make me feel that he is not ready for the kind of security that love gives.

Is he ever ready?

Is he ever ready?

Crocodiles began to breed in my mind. I wanted to stalk him and see what he’s up to. Every woman within a three-meter radius became a possible threat. If I continue to think about the endless reasons why the ring that I placed there for my own feeling of security is not there, I would be stuck. Perhaps its not about my security, its about his. Is he ready for the security that the ring entails?

Men are as complex as the universe. They are not perfect, and never will be. With this fact we are at an equal stance. They ruin a lot of romantic moments due to their restlessness and cause more broken hearts than they ever mean to. Yet, their readiness for love is not as recognizable as that of a woman’s. Its more of silence, washing dishes, and a lot of discoveries. Becoming a man who is ready for love takes a lot of introspection and the gradual emergence of consciousness for what the other feels. It is their personal battle.

A man’s readiness to secure love can hardly be seen and can be misconstrued with the act of not wearing his ring. As a ‘sage’ advised, I should rage not, instead dwell on real loving gestures because not all men can make a pot shine for me. If he has shown you this, be confident that the ring will find a way back some hours after.

Hello, Perpetual Monday!

10 Jun
Red Striped Girl Holding Chocolate dipped apple pops.

Bring it on, Monday!

Monday is a great day for becoming too busy to die.― Roy Station

It wasn’t at all a great morning haggling with the hustlers of the road! Alright, we were violators – driving and travelling without the belts in admitted negligence. Yet, being stuck in claiming the driver’s license for more than three hours  is too much of a red tape!

Since we need to think positively about things, what came out of this incident is a good research subject for grad school. Yes, Monday is a really great day to pissed off. Don’t be.

Just say, Hooray! 🙂

falling awake



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